If rom coms have taught us anything, it’s that summer is the perfect time for flings, dating, and everything in between.

That’s why we’re starting this new series, Sun, Fun, & Situationships, to spill the tea on all things summer flings and dating-related! For the next eight weeks, we’ll dive into topics like communicating effectively, dealing with mixed signals, and dating safely online. No matter the type of relationship you’re in or are searching for, all relationships deserve to be healthy. Especially your relationship with yourself.

Dating can be exciting, awkward, confusing, and everything in between…sometimes all in the same week. Maybe you’ve had a great first date that turned into hours of conversation, or maybe you’ve spent days decoding mixed signals from someone who seemed interested one minute and distant the next. Maybe you’ve been ghosted, caught feelings for someone who didn’t feel the same way, or realized that a person who looked perfect on paper wasn’t actually the right fit.

Experiences like these are a normal part of dating, but that doesn’t mean they’re always easy. Rejection, disappointment, and uncertainty can make us question ourselves, especially when it’s easy to compare our lives to carefully curated social media posts or friends who seem to have their relationships figured out. 

That’s why one of the most important things you can bring into your dating life isn’t a perfect profile or the right pickup line—it’s self-compassion.

Self-compassion is the practice of showing yourself the same compassion you would show someone you care about in moments of failure or difficulty. It’s not about pretending everything is okay or avoiding difficult feelings but responding to those feelings in a healthier way. 

Self-compassion has three main components:  

Mindfulness

Maybe you’re disappointed after someone cancels plans or frustrated because a situationship isn’t turning into something more. Mindfulness means noticing those feelings without immediately judging yourself for having them.

Self-Kindness

Instead of telling yourself, “Nobody will ever like me,” you might remind yourself, “This experience hurts, but it doesn’t determine my worth.”

Common Humanity

Whether you’re getting ghosted, navigating mixed signals, or recovering from a breakup, chances are someone else has felt exactly what you’re feeling right now. You are not alone in these experiences.

As we kick off this summer series, remember that the goal isn’t to find someone who completes you. It’s to build healthy relationships, including the one you have with yourself. Self-compassion is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. Some days it might look like giving yourself grace after a disappointing date. Other days it might mean reminding yourself that someone else’s lack of interest doesn’t make you any less worthy of love, respect, or belonging. This summer, try approaching dating with curiosity instead of pressure. Let yourself enjoy new experiences, meet new people, and learn more about what you want in a relationship. But don’t forget that fulfillment can come from many places: your friendships, your hobbies, your goals, your community, and the experiences that make you feel most like yourself. 

At the end of the day, your worth isn’t measured by your relationship status, how many matches you get, or who’s texting you back. The most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you build with yourself—and that’s a relationship worth investing in all summer long.