How loving yourself can enhance your relationships with others.

“Love yourself before others can love you” – This is a common suggestion for healthy relationships, but what if you are already with someone? Is there a test you must pass to prove you love yourself? Should you break up with your partner to start this journey?

NO! There is no right time to start this journey and it can be difficult to recognize that we need to spend a little more time nurturing a relationship with the one person who will always be there, you.

While we may think our thoughts, feelings, and self-talk are independent and separate from our relationships, they are inherently linked. It can feel counterproductive to begin to take time away from others to focus on yourself, but the more we practice “me time” to nurture ourselves, the benefits begin to add up.

Here are some different ways to develop and strengthen self-love in a relationship:

  • Maintain a healthy time apart from your partner doing things on your own.
  • Remember that at the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness.
  • See yourself in what your partner sees in you.
  • Flaws can be uncomfortable, but we all have them. Bringing to light our flaws is natural in a relationship, they do not mean you are a terrible or unlovable person, it means you’re human.
  • Forgive yourself.
  • Love is an action, not just a feeling. Choose to act in a self-loving way.
  • Nurture your needs.


  • Annmarie Ivey

    Activist, artist, and dedicated animal rescuer, Annmarie currently resides in Texas with their exceptionally perfect cats and works as a children’s counselor. Before working at HCWC, they received their undergraduate degree in child development specialized in teaching English as a second language from Humboldt State University. After that, just to shake things up, they went all the way to UTSA to receive a graduate degree in clinical mental health counseling. However, Annmarie’s passion in education and activism began in their first semester of undergraduate when they were a marine biologist major tasked with working with the Yurok tribe to research toxic algae residing in the Klamath River. Through working with the Yurok, Annmarie realized their calling resided in advocating for different marginalized groups and educating the general public. Thus, bringing us today where Annmarie spends their time being their cat’s personal 24/7 photographer and assisting in #stopthehate and other movements to bring justice, equity, healing, and freedom to all.