A healthy relationship is something most people desire, so of course we desire the same for our children. However, you may be thinking to yourself, “Well MY parents never talked to me about this, so why do I have to talk about this with my child?” Good question!

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Talking to your children and modeling healthy relationships can improve their lives.

First and foremost, it is never too early or too late to begin to talk or model healthy relationships. There is no one true correct way to do this. Every human is different, and it takes patience, commitment, openness, and accepting that mistakes are normal part of being human.

Healthy relationships go beyond intimate connections. Healthy relationships include ALL relationships, not just romantic ones. The relationship you have with your children will serve as a model throughout their lives. Create a space with them that fosters open communication and encourages them to come to you FIRST with questions.

Creating a Safe Space

Youth have a desire to be seen, heard, and validated by adults. Show up and listen, no matter what they’re talking about. Kids may find it easier to speak about their friends or characters and that can allow them to begin to feel as though they are heard. If you’re available for the small stuff, your kids will be more likely to think you’re available for the big stuff.

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Talking about relationships can be AWKWARD!

It’s okay to feel uncomfortable and awkward Your kids probably will too. Show them that it’s okay, and even important to talk things through, even when it feels weird.

Be Mindful of Stereotypes

Sexist and gendered language can find their way into our everyday phrases. It important to pay attention to language and avoid victim-blaming.

Some examples…

  • “Boys will be boys”
  • “Boys can’t handle themselves so you can’t wear (article of clothing)”
  • “Are you sure that actually happened?”
  • “It is just a phase”

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Caregivers can learn a lot from kids. It can be extremely helpful to be not only open to learning from youth but to also do our own research as well. Learn about how young people are connecting these days. Now, more than ever, young people connect through social media and online dating apps. Ask your kids about their social media usage Most importantly, support and believe them – at the end of the day, it is about them and their experience.

This article included highlights from a feature length article written by an HCWC counselor. The full-length article and a list of related resources will be made available on HCWC’s educational website: www.stopthehurt.org  in the future.

We are committed to providing free, safe, and confidential services to victims of dating violence. If you are experiencing dating violence, please call our HELPLine 24/7 at 512-396-4357. HCWC’s Counseling & Resource Center has a counselor specifically focused on Dating Violence and our Prevention Educators are available for presentations and education about dating violence.

Author

  • Annmarie Ivey

    Activist, artist, and dedicated animal rescuer, Annmarie currently resides in Texas with their exceptionally perfect cats and works as a children’s counselor. Before working at HCWC, they received their undergraduate degree in child development specialized in teaching English as a second language from Humboldt State University. After that, just to shake things up, they went all the way to UTSA to receive a graduate degree in clinical mental health counseling. However, Annmarie’s passion in education and activism began in their first semester of undergraduate when they were a marine biologist major tasked with working with the Yurok tribe to research toxic algae residing in the Klamath River. Through working with the Yurok, Annmarie realized their calling resided in advocating for different marginalized groups and educating the general public. Thus, bringing us today where Annmarie spends their time being their cat’s personal 24/7 photographer and assisting in #stopthehate and other movements to bring justice, equity, healing, and freedom to all.

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